VARSITY READER: issue #2
five reads you'll love, a career tip, and a soapbox on friendship
Whew! It’s only December 2, and I’m already feeling the whiplash of the holiday season. Santa might still be wintering in Naples, but…I’m tired.
As I get older, I am more and more in awe of parents during the holiday season—and the sense of magic they create every day. The gifts! The parties! The decorating! My friend Kristin Kennedy talked about this reality on her Instagram Stories, and as a woman solely responsible for the orchid at my entryway, my eyes opened to the special brand of stress parents endure in December.
Shoutout to all of the parents out there! And as the Queen Mother herself once said, “you’re doing amazing, sweetie!”
Without further ado…
My favorite articles of the week (not shared anywhere else!)
As a varsity reader, I run through articles like athletes run marathons. There’s no way I’d be able to share every article I read (and adore!) on social media each day. Here’s five more, just for you:
This boy was born without an immune system. Gene therapy rebuilt it. (Washington Post: I can’t resist a feel-good story that *also* teaches me something new about the science world).
The Winklevoss Collapse (NYMag: the so-called original founders of Facebook founded a crypto exchange, which went bust. It’s been fascinating to follow the volatility of crypto & NFTs. I have very, very small holdings in the space because I’m not convinced of its long-term value).
Red Lobster vastly underestimated how much shrimp people could eat—but it may still be a marketing win (Fast Company: The chain’s famed Endless Shrimp deal resulted in a Q4 $11M loss—but the brand awareness may be worth it).
$10 gallons of milk and 16-hour drives to the city: What it’s like living on $52,000 in rural Alaska (CNBC: As someone who has never lived in a super rural area, I’m always fascinated by these pieces. And the fact that rural doesn’t necessarily = cheap).
What happens to a school shooter’s sister? (New Yorker: Not a perspective we often see in the media. This was a heart-wrenching read, but one that I highly recommend).
Soapbox of the week
Be friends with people who are different from you. Period.
As the saying goes, you don’t learn anything new when your mouth is open. But if you translate that to a social context, you won’t learn anything new from a friend group that’s 100% homogeneous.
I’ve been fortunate enough to curate an incredible group of friends who are kind, soulful, funny, and interesting. They span ages, which is a key part of the equation. If I hear another gripe about a bad bridesmaid dress…😉
My friendship circle encompasses:
My 21 year-old sister and her Gen Z friends (who are like my younger siblings)
Family members who are also friends (my 28 year-old brother, my BF’s siblings, my younger cousins, my mom & aunts)
Friends from college & business school, who are spread across the world
Former co-workers turned friends (or clients turned friends)
Women I’ve connected with via social media who have become dear friends (and range in age from 25 - you-look-amazing-and-I-don’t-know)
I’m inspired to share this after meeting up with my friends Neha and Jeanelle earlier this week. They are both incredible content creators who are moms of two, and I always walk away from our time together with a new perspective.
But this group of friends didn’t happen overnight. A few actionable tips if you’re trying to forge more meaningful friendships in 2024:
Make the first move. Like dating, you have to put yourself out there. Did you meet someone at a work event / party who was interesting? Text them and ask them for coffee / lunch / a walk / a workout! I randomly met one of my dearest friends at a career fair when I was recruiting for my former strategy consulting firm. If you feel a connection, pursue it!
Check in! I’m an extroverted extrovert, and know this tip is easier for me to share than others. Yes, some friendships can survive with a once-a-year phone call. But that’s after years of time spent together. When you’re building a new friendship, sending a meme / article / quick check-in text does so much to establish connection.
Take the damn trip. There’s something about travel that brings people closer. Traveling & seeing the world is super important to me, so I set aside a sizeable travel budget every year. A friend from business school and I have taken an international trip every year since we graduated—and are headed to Argentina in January. BUT you can also use travel as a way to make new friends. I know so many people who have met close friends on yoga retreats or group trips where they knew *no one* going in.
Go to the event / party by yourself. I talked about this tip on Stories this week, but I went to the holiday party for the amazing Sad Girls Club on Tuesday—100% solo. My BF was supposed to come, but had a last-minute work conflict. And guess what—I had a GREAT time, and was way more shameless about meeting / approaching people. I ended up talking to a woman for 20 minutes because we were both wearing navy (the dress code demanded blue) and I admitted that I felt like a theme cheater. An inane topic but led to a great conversation!
Career tip of the week
In sessions with career coaching clients this week, the word “stuck” came up a lot.
“What I’m doing every day brings me dread—I feel stuck.”
“I’ve been in a holding pattern for years…I’m stuck.”
“I’m stuck on what career path to pursue.”
If you’re also feeling stuck, here’s an exercise to get you unstuck. Take the radically opposite view of “stuck”—what feels most natural to you? In your day-to-day career, what are the things that make you feel most free—and you can fly through them with ease? If I asked a co-worker / friend / family member about what truly makes you shine, what would those things be?
A few examples from my own life to get you started:
Writing this newsletter. ✅ It feels as natural as brushing my teeth.
Connecting people. ✅ My mind is always buzzing with my network and how I can add value to those in my circle.
Performing complex quantitative analysis. ❌ I can feel the sweat on my desk chair now.
Walking or driving anywhere without being glued to Google Maps. ❌ Get me an oxygen mask.
Not every day of your job is going to be rainbows and butterflies. But if you feel like the core tenets of your job don’t enable you to engage at least SOME of your natural aptitudes, it might be time for a change.
In case you missed it
A networking mistake that so many people make (and how to fix it)
The NYTimes birthday book that is *THE BEST* gift for any history buff
The $14 soup storage solution I should have bought years ago
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Julia, your point about having a social group different from you is so, so important. For all our talk on diversity and inclusion, we need to start with ourselves first and foremost. It's prompted me to think about a piece I might publish on it in the coming year.